I’ve been getting into the blogosphere more recently. (Currently my favourites are Lulastic, Sarah Bessey, A Beautiful Mess and Godspace if you’d like a recommendation). But I’m developing a worrying habit. Somehow I am gravitating more and more towards American or Canadian mothers-of-small-children, living in big houses (by my British standards, I think it’s pretty normal out there) with outside space and animals and a love for home-baking and instagraming.
I’m not sure it’s good for me.
I dream sometimes of space. Storage space to begin with. Just a couple of large cupboards would do it, somewhere to stash the guitars. But then, there’s also a wild fantasy I have of outside space. Maybe a garden where I could grow veggies, and keep chickens if I ever overcame my fear of birds. It could even include a view of mountains or a lake. Actual safe space for kids to run and play in. Maybe a tree which I could hang a swing from (if I ever worked out how to make a swing). Sometimes I get carried away and I fantasise about clean air, and time moving more slowly, and no big distractions but plenty evenings of staying in and laughing and talking. And sitting on the porch (does anyone in England ever sit in their porch? My only experience of English porches in that they’re quite cold and small and glassy).
We’re at the age where lots of friends are leaving London.
We all come here after university, in search of jobs and independence and culture and wanting to be part of something big. And it is exciting (when it’s not lonely), it’s full and it’s fast-moving. And then we hit our 30s and suddenly it’s too depressing how expensive houses are, and do you want to drag a buggy up 4 flights of stairs every day, and can you really keep living at this pace, and do you want your kids to go to inner-city schools, and maybe we’ve done London now. The mass exodus out of the city takes place.
Can you tell I am grieving?
The thing is, I get it, it’s all for healthy reasons. I want the space and calmness too. Why would anyone in their right mind chose to live in the biggest city in Europe? It’s full up. I mean the culture and everything is great, but I could easily take a year off art galleries and theatre trips now.
And it’s getting more lonely in the city.
This week I edited a film that made me remember why we stay. Here’s a little clip. It’s our mate Ash Barker who lives in the biggest slum in Bangkok with his family and who has just done a PhD on ministry in slums.
More and more, the inner cities are left to the super-rich and the poor. Who don’t often “mesh well together” (to quote Clueless). And if the half of the world may well be living in cities by the middle of the century, I think a bunch of us need to stay and find a way to do it well and work for good, and get to know our neighbours, and help make the schools better (or whatever needs some help). A grand ambition, I’m sure we’ll fail in countless ways, but this is our plan.